Flamers Are Stupid OLD
by skitzo krebstar
Summary: The gang returns. But this time they're after flamerS, especially multiple flamers


  
  


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[ Scene : The set of the television series _The Lone Gunmen_. sKiTzO sHy VioLeT (aka sKiTzO sHy SeVeN), Careysgurl637, TaNgErInE mYsTiC, Fi, Clu, Jack, and _Star Trek : Voyager_'s Harry Kim are standing at a computer with worried expressions on their faces. A brown potato sack is in the corner. ]  
  
sKiTzO : How can a person be so stupid?  
  
Fi : Obviously they didn't get the memo. RE : How *not* to be a dumbass.  
  
sKiTzO : [sighs] I need to find better jokes....  
  
Careysgurl637 : Can you believe this?  
  
TaNgErInE : Obviously they didn't read sKiTzO's story "Flames are Stupid".  
  
Jack : Whoa, hey, whoa, someone's watching us.  
  
Clu : [ whispers to sKiTzO ] I don't think "whoa, hey, whoa" is something Jack would say.  
  
sKiTzO : [ whispers back ] This is a fanfic, Clu. FAN-FIC. [ Turns to the readers ] Hey guys. After a long vacation... Well... Not so long... And not really a vacation... But you get the idea... Anywhoo, I'm back in the _So Weird _world making the net safe once again for fanfic authors.  
  
TaNgErInE : For those who don't know, here's the story : sKiTzO wrote a story awhile back featuring Fi kicking the shit out of Annie. She was flamed. She hates flames. Not just on her stories either, but in general. So she wrote "Flames are Stupid aka Hello Spitfire, Remember Me?". This story dealt out every fanfic author's anger toward flames.  
  
Fi : Many authors responded to this fic leaving reviews that said things such as "Amen, good sister", "Keep writing these, I love em", and "I feel your pain, so, KEEP AT IT!!! U rock!!"  
  
Jack : While she liked what her story addressed she always felt it didn't address everything she'd wanted it to....  
  
Clu : I just can't believe there's more....  
  
Careysgurl637 : Anyway, recently I've been starting to get flames from someone named Malora. I talked about it to a few other people and I discovered they were being flamed by her as well.  
  
sKiTzO : Careysgurl emailed me and requested a new anti-flame story. Excited that I could finally address the things I wanted but never got a chance to, I eagerly set to writing this lovely new fic. Isn't it pretty? [ Smiles. ]  
  
TaNgErInE : First of all, I'd like to say two things. Number one, flamers are stupid. Number two, BLINK 182 RULES!!   
  
sKiTzO : Whoops... I almost typed Blink 183....  
  
Fi : So yeah, flamers are stupid. Especially multiple flamers, like our [ cough ] friend [ cough ] Malora.   
  
sKiTzO : Multiple flamers like Malora really crack me up. I mean, they flame *all* stories without even reading. ( For all you stupid multiple flamers, I don't mean *all* multiple flamers do that, just ones like Malora. ) I mean, come on. Malora flamed a story that had the line "Molly took her daughter into her arms, holding her, restraining herself from the waterfall of tears that was rushing to her eyes". Well, actually there was an even better quote than that one, but I couldn't find it again. [ frowns ]  
  
Jack : In response to this fic, Malora wrote, "OMG! That sucked so bad. So very badly. You are a terrible writer and I'm begging you to never TRY to write again. I won't say "write" because you obviously dont know how, but please dont TRY to. it's horrifying how much you suck as a writer!"  
  
Clu : Personally, I'd like to see Malora's writings. She never signed her reviews cause she's too chicken and an author's search turned up no penname "Malora".  
  
sKiTzO : And her flames don't get anymore intelligent. She flamed a very moving poem w. the words "that sucked really bad. It was funny how you tried to be all dark and depressing though. Hilarious!".   
  
TaNgErInE : "Hilarious"? Excuse me? "Funny how you tried to be all dark and depressing"? Ahem, these are real, true emotions, woman. Get some.  
  
sKiTzO : For realsup1/sup.  
  
Fi : Okay, now this Malora person has flamed nearly every one of Careysgurl's stories. I mean, if somebody *honestly* didn't like someone's stories and wasn't just being a dumbass, then *why* would they continue to read them??  
  
Clu : We *could* have the names of the other people Malora flamed, but *someone* [ glares at sKiTzO ] is too lazy to get them.  
  
sKiTzO : I don't see *you* running around trying to get them.  
  
Clu : I'm fictional.   
  
sKiTzO : Oh yeah... damn....  
  
Jack : Anyway, the important thing is that we *do* know that some of these reviews were within *two* minutes of eachother, and these were pretty long fics.   
  
Fi : So either there's a flaw with ffn.net's logs, that's usual, or SOMEBODY needs to get a life.  
  
TaNgErInE : So basically we're requesting that multiple flamers out there get in line and get a **clue**! I mean, for realsup1/sup.   
  
sKiTzO : People who keep doing things like this are just going to get pitied for their stupidity. Their goal is to anger people, and it works. However, their lack of an IQ becomes a joke amongst many.   
  
Clu : So please, just say no to multiple flaming.  
  
Jack : [ seems to notice Harry Kim for the first time. ] Uhhh... sKiTzO? What's he doing here?  
  
sKiTzO : Who, Harry? Oh he has no purpose... Unless you count stand there looking incredibly yummy... [ Hugs him ] Yes, Garrett Wang, you are a very yummy man...  
  
Jack : [ rolls his eyes ]  
  
Fi : Now that that's over, anyone up for some piñata?  
  
[ Everybody agrees ( except Harry who says nothing ). All but Harry help string up the potato sack and grab baseball bats. Annie screams from inside. ]  
  
Harry : Umm... isn't this a little cruel? There's a girl inside that bag.  
  
[ Everybody looks at him. ]  
  
sKiTzO : [ walks over to him and kisses him on the cheek ] Don't talk, sweetie. Just stand there.  
  


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sup1/supFor real = slang phrase used to say you whole heartedly agree.  
  


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Flames will be laughed at. :)  
  
  
  



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